Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution.
I don't want to belong to a club that would accept me as a member.
I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got in my pajamas I'll never know."